A couple years back, Mike and I went to Chili's to eat. We were meeting several other people there, but we were the first to arrive. They were all on their way and should be arriving any minute. We put our name on the waiting list and before we knew it, our table was ready. We stepped up to the podium and gave our name. The hostess asked "Where's the rest of your party?" We knew that this could mean forfeiting our table, but also couldn't hide the fact that no one was behind us. Not to mention that we wanted to be honest. So, we said "They're coming. They should be right behind us." She said, "Where are they?" We responded with "They're in transit." She says, "TRANSIT?!" We say, "Yes, transit. They're right behind us." Again she says, "TRANSIT?!" And then turns around and asks the other hostess what TRANSIT MEANS! So, with that, we like to say "TRANSIT" whenever there is chaos, confusion, or plain dumb moments.
The last hour has been a little, no A LOT transit. We decided we should stop "borrowing" the neighbor's wi-fi and get our own. We found a great deal and made an appointment. Well, we received a phone call saying everything was hooked up, but our modem had not arrived. They said it would be a few days, and we knew that probably meant it would be after the weekend. Surprisingly, an hour or two later, it was on our doorstep. Well, Mike ripped open the box and seemed pretty intimidated by the amount of electronics and wires that came flying out. (It's not often you can scare Mike - especially with electronics.) We've put it off a few days, but tonight we decided would work. So, plugging things in. Finding a good spot to hide it. Making sure there was room for a modem and router, ETC. Well, after about 2 minutes, Mike gave up on the software (even after the kind computer voice guy walked him through it) and called the "magic" number in the directions. All he got was the annoying fax machine noise. He hung up, and found another number.
So, the first two minutes on the line were spent with Mike responding to the machine with, "Yes. No, Technical support. Operator. Help. No. Yes. etc" That in itself was entertaining, but then the real fun began.
Mike finally got ahold of a person. She tells him he should have called someone else. Mike says, "No." and continues to read, every last word, from the computer screen that prompted him to call her. She finally decided to accept the call. Meanwhile, Mike took this as an invitation for a laugh. I, just got to listen. Not only to Mike, but the lady on the other side was loud enough that I could hear her response. (I can see this is kind of long, so I won't give the entire conversation. I will give some of the beginning convo and then some highlights from the rest of it.)
Operator: "What's the problem?"
Mike: "It's not working."
O: "Well, what's wrong?"
M: "It's not working."
O: "Why isn't it working?"
M: "Because it's not hooked up to the internet."
O: "OK,well you probably don't have access to it."
M: "Yes. Our service started on Friday, November 14 at 4:40pm."
the operator continues to go through and verify our account information.
I'm losing it at this point. So, I'm going to let Mike finish telling this story....
I am not quite the storyteller that Sara is, but I will try to get a little recap of my 72:34 CSR call. Now, this gal from somewhere in Asia was really really patient. She was reading a lot of cues that I must admit were setup fairly well by the ISP. First, there were the ridiculous questions that they have to ask about your last 4 ssn, date of birth, address, mothers maiden name, first childhood crush.... etc.
Then we start to troubleshoot... There were all kinds of further silly questions asking if I had the power on the modem, if I had the telephone wire plugged into the wall, if I had the modem connected to my computer. This took about 20 minutes.
We spent the next 30 minutes following assanine prompts that all failed. We pretty much had to go into DOS and reset all internet settings then do a bunch of other stuff and then some more stuff. Then restart windows and stuff.
Finally after taking the computer to internet ground zero, things started clicking. I filled out ridiculous settings and stuff for email accounts I will never use. I cannot believe the lady had the patience to put up with a phone call this long. She was definitely Johnny on the spot! I asked her if my call was longer than average... she laughed and said yes.
Then comes all the ridiculous profit centers for ATT. Apparently they have some deal with Yahoo! where they try to wrestle your traditional internet habits away from you and keep you on Yahoo! webpages and install all these Yahoo! toolbars and stuff. Then they want all your contact information. She asked me what email address I wanted to send all their updates (spam) to... I gave them the address that I had just setup with them and told her that I was never going to check because I didn't want to give her my good one
Then comes all the obligatory end of the phone call things where she reads the whole, 'have I satisfactorily fulfilled all of your requests, have I been awesome, is ATT tech support the best ever?' In the process of all that she tells me she is going to send an email to evaluate her/ATT service. I asked her if I filled it out if it 'will that help you get a raise?' She wouldn't answer the question, but to me it was a very important question - because if it is just for ATT's tech reputation, then I could care less... but if it would reflect positively on this patient woman on the other side of the planet, then I would fill it out.
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